Thomas J. Rogers - Eulogy for Col. Howard L. Rogers

Delivered 13 January 2004
"We’re here today to say goodbye to a man who accomplished a great deal in his life. It’s a shame that it takes a situation like this for some of us to really find out about all the things that he did. For me, it was reading the article that my sister Laurie wrote about him and talking to some of his colleagues from the police department last night. I remember hearing about many of these things and having a vague knowledge of his accomplishments, but unfortunately I was too young for much of his career. To list out all of his accomplishments would probably take quite some time and I’m sure I wouldn’t do them justice, so I’ll just name a few. He held degrees from the University of Cincinnati, Chase, and Northwestern, enjoyed a thirty-year career with the Cincinnati police department, rising through the ranks to eventually become Assistant Chief and later served as Chief of Police in Evanston, IL for two years. Following that, he founded a successful executive search firm and was involved in the selection of police chiefs and other government officials nationwide. He also assisted in the accreditation process of many of the police departments in Ohio. As impressive as all of that may sound, it barely scratches the surface of the impact he had on the city of Cincinnati. More impressive than even this, was the fact that he accomplished all this coming from a very challenging home environment with his mother passing away when he was just six years old. Despite his very staid and professional demeanor, I knew him to be an emotional man who cared a great deal for his family and friends. I knew this because when I was just a little kid, he used to drop me off at kindergarten and stand outside the window of my classroom and wave to me because he didn’t want our time together in the morning before he went to work to end. Also, in the last few years when I lived in New York and only saw him over the holidays, he used to love to take me for lunch and a beer at one of his favorite local restaurants and then tear up when it was time for me to leave. Unfortunately, I don’t think he let very many people see that side of himself too often. He would also be the first to admit as he did to me in the later years that he would have done things differently in his personal life had he had the opportunity to do them over. Selfishly though, I’m glad he did things the way that he did because I might not be here and I wouldn’t have four sisters and a brother that I was grateful to be able to talk to on Friday when this happened. I think that in a situation like this, when death is so unexpected, we tend to focus on regrets. For me, if I had it to do over again, I would have made more time for him over the holidays when I was home from New York, but not knowing how many of those visits were left, I tended to take them for granted. Maybe some of you have regrets of your own about dad. Maybe you would have liked to have thanked him for something, told him something that you were afraid to tell him, been with him in the hospital or simply said goodbye. Unfortunately, while we can’t do those things now in person, what we can do is to focus on how my dad made us better people for having known him. In one of my last conversations with him, he said, “just tell me that I helped you and that you’re better off for my being around” and I think that’s what he would have wanted us to do now. Like I said earlier, I don’t think I can do justice to all he accomplished in his life, but I think we got a small glimpse of all the people he touched throughout his life by the number of people that were at the visitation last night and the great things they had to say about him. I was talking to someone who he had mentored on the police force last night and I was interested to find out that his children were not the only recipients of his five minute long military type voicemails which consisted of a status update for him and a list of things we should be thinking about and doing, apparently there were other lucky recipients out there besides his kids. I have to say though, I don’t think you can truly appreciate one of those voicemails until you’re woken up by one on a Saturday morning at 8AM when you’re in college after having been out late at a party the night before, like I was many a time. I think he did this on purpose though because he would have been out at that party -- dancing the night away -- as he loved to do, had he been in my shoes. On a serious note, I don’t think any of his children would be the people that we are had it not been for him. When I was working in New York, I took a serious interest in mentoring people with whom I worked and I thought had a lot of potential. I didn’t really realize how much of an interest dad took in mentoring colleagues whom he liked and thought had great potential. I guess subconsciously I got that from him. I think there are many things like that whether you were a colleague, child, spouse, or friend that you can say about him. One thing that I think we can all agree upon is that he always pushed us to achieve more than we thought we could. He achieved much more than he thought he could in his life and wanted that for the people he cared about. He always held people to the highest standards and made you want to try harder than you thought you could ... to meet his expectations. One thing that was said about him last night was that he was a man before his time. He was a pioneer in education in policing and he also did a great deal for race relations in Cincinnati. This was all part of his effort to hold everyone to the high standard of conduct to which he held himself. Even at a young age, he held me to high standards challenging me to do well in school and in sports. I know when I was a kid and he was teaching me to do something, he would never let me quit on a miss. Whether it was riding a bike or shooting a basket, he wouldn’t let me stop until I had done it correctly no matter what it was. I still find myself not quitting on a miss even today, when I’m trying to do something new. So I think in the end, my dad is probably looking down right now very happy to see all of you here today, happy to know that the people in his family and the people in his professional life realized and appreciated the significant contribution that he made to the city of Cincinnati and happy to know that in some way he made a positive impact on all of our lives." Author: Rogers, Thomas J.